Actually that's not really fair, because it gives a false impression of the Lakeside Watersports Centre. The Centre has all modern diving and diver training facilities and a very well-stocked shop. However, apart from the ubiquitous tea 'n coffee machine ('n Bovril 'n vegetable soup) they provide no refreshment facilities. No great problem really because Lakeside Retail Park probably offers more cattle-murdering, snack bars per square mile than any other place on earth! (oops, put soap box away) Space limitations dictate that parking is not allowed on site, but there is a massive multi-storey car park just across the road once you have off-loaded your gear.

The Lake in Lakeside is about 500 metres long with a pontoon about half-way around which are dotted the underwater features (see map at right). We didn't visit the phone box so I'm not sure it is still there, and we didn't have the underwater camera with us this time, hence the dearth of snaps. However, it would have been a waste of time because visibility was 0, zero, zilch, nichts, nada. We did five dives throughout the day and all the dives in the deepest part (near the pontoon) were carried out with a buddy line. It was literally soup!

The pictures are of Les going out first thing to fetch the RIB from the mooring for the staff. In return, the nice people then gave us a lift the 200 or so yards to the pontoon. I did my first boat dive (you know, like where Jacques Cousteau backflips from the edge of the boat into the water!) which was fun. I also did my first boat entry from the water, which was achieved, but much less fun!

Our activities included feeling our way around the pleasure boat and the combi van in about 6m of soup. Exactly 50% of the fish we saw were dead (we saw two fish), but there were squillions of little freshwater shrimp-like creatures on (in) the bottom. We did a long underwater trawl of the eastern shallows, from the Centre to the Taxi, which is littered with the waste from those snack places, but we were actually hunting for treasure trove, because I'm told it's a favourite dumping ground for the Lakeside pick-pockets of their ill-gotten cast-offs. One bloke we met there said he'd found three wallets in one day. But we were out of luck... maybe next time!

All in all I had a great time. It was my first time diving with a buddy line, which proved its worth (All you macho pouffs with LOVE 'n HATE tatooed on your knuckles can say what you like, but I ain't happy if I don't know where my buddy is). It was my first boat dive, which was good, and I did an excellent navigation dive of 150 metres or more. Also, I think it's a valuable experience diving in zero visibility (well, let's say 6 inches) because until you've been there, you have no idea what your reaction to it will be like. Finally, it was the first time I was unable on one occasion to equalize. For those of you who suffer from this regularly, you have my undying sympathy. The pain is enough to get you out of the water pronto! It's the one and only time, but it makes you think twice about diving with a head cold.

Well, that's that. Another great day out, and to top it all I left my weight belt in the back of Les' car!